Title: Wistful Hearts
Part:12
Groups: SHINee, U-Kiss, 2PM, SNSD, possibly more
Pairings: (main) Jonghyun/Taemin, Onew/Key, Nichkhun/Minho
Rating: PG-13 (this chapter)
Summary: Jonghyun's the school bad boy who cuts class, gets into fights, and doesn't think he's capable of loving. But deep down he's different. Jinki's his best friend from childhood and the school president, who's just trying to get the most popular boy in school to notice him. Key's known by everyone, and though he's practically worshiped and acts so self-confident, he's got dark things hidden inside. Minho, the soccer team's ace player is looking for something interesting to happen in his life and wants someone he can love to come along, even when there's someone right beside him. And Taemin's a freshman whose dedication is torn between what he wants and what his parents want, his dreams feeling out of reach because he's just “too young to know any better”. When these five are brought together, the occurrences afterward are filled with heartbreak and sorrow, but also with happiness, fun, and love.
A/N: high school AU fic~ finally updated! OMG XD in case there are new readers who want to catch up, this fic has its own tag on my LJ so its easy to find! dedicated to bopeep_achu as always <3 as well as taemin_knees because she made me smile when I really needed it =] part of this was taken from a drabble I did before which inspired this whole series~ random! Comments are very appreciated! Hope you enjoy reading!




It had taken Taemin a long time to finally come to the decision that he was going to tell Jonghyun how he felt. Many events had had to occur, like his near-drowning and so on, and after it all, he had fully realized that he was falling in love with the other male.

It was still a bit shocking for him to think about, but he was indeed sure that that was how he felt towards him. Even though he could be an asshole sometimes – make that most of the time – and treated him like a kid, not to mention the fact that he was a trouble-maker who drank and did who knows what other things, he still liked him.

However, if that had just been it, he wouldn’t have wanted to tell him. He wouldn’t have for fear of rejection of course, because he’d never really liked someone before, it was all new to him, and he didn’t want to be told that the feelings were one-sided. Dongho and many of his other friends had told him about some of their confessions that had ended badly, and he definitely did not want that to happen to him. But the thing was that he didn’t think that something like that would occur.

The reason for that was simple; he believed that Jonghyun liked him back.

Why else would they be so close now? If they’d only had a platonic relationship, he was sure that the junior would have just ignored him most of the time unless he was forced to associate with him. However, on many occasions he was the one to come seeking Taemin, to hang out or talk. If Jonghyun didn’t like him, even only a little bit, wouldn’t he have just talked to him during their tutoring sessions or when they hung out with mutual friends?

There was also the little detail that they had kissed, and shared many other moments that were surely on the brink of being romantic. Whenever they spent time together there was this sense of rightness and happiness that would be in the air, even if one was taunting the other or if they were having a mild argument over something stupid. The feelings were there, he knew it. It couldn’t just be him, couldn’t be his imagination or just something that he alone felt.

Right?



His insecurity continued to rise and increase as the hours passed, awaiting the end of the day with an odd anticipation that made his stomach toss and turn. He’d been able to go back to his classes because Nurse Ga In had given him the green light after she gave him another physical check earlier. The minutes ticked by slowly, almost at a snail’s pace, to him, but finally classes were finished, and Taemin went out to the dormitory in search of Jonghyun.

He spotted the blonde and brown haired teenager easily. He was standing around talking with a couple of friends of his, laughing at some joke that had been said. But when he noticed the freshman making his way over to him, his smile unintentionally slipped a fraction, a hidden nervousness in his big brown eyes.

Taemin was unaware that he already knew what his intentions were.

“Hey, hyung, do you mind coming with me for a minute?”

“Uh, sure, kid.” He turned back to his friends to inform them that he was leaving, before following Taemin outside onto the field. It was a nice day, though there was a slight wind that was marginally cold, but it was getting dark quicker than usual. It was almost ominous, like a sign of some sort of things to come, but the younger of the two didn’t seem to take notice of what it might mean for him.

Instead, when they’d come to a halt, he breathed in a deep breath and looked straight at Jonghyun even though his gaze was cast towards the ground. “Uhm, the-the reason why I wanted to talk to you was because I wanted to tell you something…” He paused for a moment, just to make sure he was really ready to do this, before continuing. “J-Jonghyun hyung, I, uh… I really… I…” He swallowed and then took the plunge, making his confession. “I’m in love with you.’

Silence.

It took quite a few slow, agonizing seconds for the other to reply, but when he did, Taemin really wished that he hadn’t said anything at all.

“I don’t… Kid, you… You don’t know what you’re saying; you can’t love me. I’m sorry but,” He paused to let out a small, hollow laugh and rub the back of his neck with one of his hands. “This can’t happen, Taemin. You’re, uh, too young for any of this… for me.”

The words were such a shock, something he wouldn’t have anticipated, and they pierced his heart like knives. A second later he lashed out without thinking, the palm of his hand striking against Jonghyun’s face with a loud, quite audible smack. With tears flooding his eyes he ran away from the other, leaving him with an extremely bewildered look on his face.

The pain and anger he felt was overwhelming. ‘I’m not young. I’m not a child.’ Why did everyone treat him like that? His parents were the same, always treating him as if he didn’t know anything and didn’t know how to make decisions on his own. To them he was always a naïve, oblivious child, even now when he was almost an adult, and Jonghyun’s words brought back all of the resentment he felt towards his parents and anyone who said anything to him that was similar to what they did on a regular basis.

He’d thought, after everything they’d done and been through together, that the feelings had been mutual. Finding out in such a way that he was wrong was so unbelievably disheartening and depressing. It hurt so much. He doesn’t want to be treated like he doesn’t matter, or like he’s insignificant or needs to be talked down to like that. ‘Just because I’m younger than you, it doesn’t mean I don’t know what these feelings are. I know how to love. Why don’t you understand? Let me love you, let me be with you!’

Angrily Taemin spun around and ran back toward him. He was still standing there, which makes him feel greatly satisfied. If Jonghyun had believed he could just brush away his confession, then he would show him how wrong he was; he was not too young to know what he felt for him. He reached out and grabbed him by the collar, startling him in the process. Then with a hard pull he made their lips smash together. He pulled away after the short, hard kiss, panting from running and from the stunt that had just occurred, glaring at him with all his pent up emotions. Maybe it was childish, but he didn’t care, he just needed to make him understand.

“I’m not too young,” he whispered to him in a pained, strangled voice, and then ran away for good this time; all the way back to his dormitory room.

When he arrived he slammed the door shut with a bang, alarming Dongho who had just been coming out of the bathroom. His pale coloured hair still glistened from the shower he’d come out of, a towel he had been using to dry his head now around his neck because he had heard the loud sound. “T-Taemin?” He called out questioningly, and the next moment he found his arms full of the boy who had practically thrown himself at him. “Hey, what’s wrong? Tae…” He trailed off, choosing to just hold his crying best friend and comfort him in exchange for talking since he really had no idea of what to say anyway.

It just hurt so much, and Taemin didn’t know what else to do, so he just cried and cried; something he hadn’t done since he was a little boy.

- -

When he had been slapped, Jonghyun had recoiled from the impact and then stood motionless with evident shock, showing how absolutely unexpected what had happened was. ‘He… He slapped me…’ His mind couldn’t full grasp the fact that it really did just occur, even though his cheek red and stinging, so he hadn’t even said anything after it happened.

Before he could even attempt to though, Taemin had returned and kissed him fiercely, effectively taking the breath right out of his lungs. It was a rough and dizzying kiss that under different circumstance he could and probably would have enjoyed. That had sent his mind into another frenzied confused, and it took many minutes after the boy had ran away for him to come back to his senses enough to move. But there were so many thoughts and feelings inside of him that he couldn’t take it, he needed some sort of distraction, and the only thing – person – he could think of was Kibum.

He found him after he had gone back into the building, when he was about to enter his dormitory room, and he grabbed his hand before he could do so, turning him around and pinning him against the still closed door. “Hey,” he breathed suggestively into Key’s ear, pressing against him. “I need your help with something.”

Unexpectedly, the other male put his hands up to his chest in an attempt to deny and push him away. Turning his face away, his voice held only a hint of amusement, but was mostly, uncharacteristically, serious. “N-no, Jjong, sorry but I can’t do that anymore…”

“Why can’t you?” He growled in annoyance and desperation. He needed some way to get his mind off of things otherwise he feared he would do something stupid like cry or punch a wall in frustration. His mind couldn’t get rid of the image of Taemin when he’d been heartbroken, and it was killing him. “You said it yourself; you knew I’d be back eventually.”

“No, but I, I just can’t. I—“

“Kibum?”

Jonghyun felt his whole body freeze and his did as well when he recognized the voice that had called out to them from down the hall. He moved back slightly and looked, and who he saw there nearly made him feel like causing bodily harm to himself.

Because standing there, with wide eyes, was Jinki.

He stared at the two of them, most likely assuming the wrong thing; that Kibum was in fact participating in this willingly, before opening his mouth as if to say something more. But then he changed his mind and in place of that idea, backed away and disappeared around the corner towards the lounge.

Key shoved Jonghyun away, almost yelling “What do you think you’re doing?!” He glared furiously before stating, “I’m in love with him! We’re… We’re together now! And I know you love Taeminnie, so why are you doing this?!”

The other had no answer, and so he took off after Jinki, calling his name repeatedly, until he too, disappeared around the corner, leaving the junior alone with only his thoughts and feelings for company.

In the mere span of an hour he had managed to hurt his best friend in the worst way possible, piss off one of the only friends he had, and break the heart of the person he had grown to love more than anything. He felt like throwing up, his heart wrenching painfully in his chest at the sheer hatred he felt towards himself. How could he have been so stupid to do all of those things? Why couldn’t he, just once, let himself open up to others and let himself care for them, let them care for him back? He always ended up ruining everything.

Why couldn’t he ever just let himself be happy?

I TOOK SUCH A LONG HIATUS OMG D:

and you know, it makes me sooo sad for two reasons that are very important.

First off, I've missed writing like CRAZY~ and reading too! OMG D:
Secondly, I've missed all my friends on here like CRAZY~

And it makes me sad, because so many of my old friends disappeared T_______________T
So I feel so lonely, and don't have many people to talk to anymore D:

I miss you all!! So muchhhhh =(

On a side note, about my fics,

I AM STILL WORKING ON WISTFUL HEARTS XD

I am so sorry to anyone and everyone who reads that fic, but I'm having trouble with it D: and I really want that fic to always be great and awesome to read, so I need to be completely happy with the next chapter before I post it.
PLEASE DON'T ABANDON ME AND THAT FIC LOL you readers are what keep me writing! 

that was just a mini-rant thing I needed to write XD
so I'll stop now, instead of continuing on about other things XD

Title: And We're Falling, Like Angels With Broken Wings
Part: One | Two | Three
Pairing: Minho/Taemin, past!Minho/Suzy
Rating: G (this chapter)
Genre: AU, supernatural, romance
Summary: Taemin is mysterious, and with every blink of the eye and flick of the wrist he brings unexpected wonders to Minho's life and he fears he may be falling for the boy who he knows nothing about. Maybe he's found a reason to start living his life again, but what if that reason is more unstable and unreliable than anything he'd ever let into his heart before? What if the angel isn't really an angel, and he ends up breaking his heart?
A/N: finally updating this fic! but I don't even know if anyone remembers it XD yay for a glimpse into Taemin's mind in this chapter ;O its shorter than the previous ones =( Hope you enjoy! Comments are very appreciated <33
Word Count: 1644




The mind is a fragile thing, and memories are even more so. They come and go, some forgotten temporarily, some never to be remembered again, and some are too important to let go. Memories are strange, and Taemin can't seem to hold on to them no matter how much he focuses and tries to. They slip through his fingers, like grains of sand that are too small for him to keep in his palm. However, though he doesn't know why, doesn't understand, for some reason being there with Minho is helping. Slowly, he can feel pieces of himself that were missing return to him. Slowly, even though he's sure they aren't supposed to, that they're gone for a very good purpose. Consequences will be brought about because of what he's doing; he knows that being there for too long is wrong, absolutely wrong. But he can't bring himself to leave. He doesn't want to.

A knock at the door brought him out of his thoughts, and he made his way over to it. It isn't Minho – the fact that the person was knocking not even being what informed him of this – but he sensed no danger, so he unlocked the door and opened it without any concern.

Standing before him was a girl, a teenager with long dark brown hair held back in a ponytail and wide, surprised eyes fixed on him. She wasn't expecting to see him, Taemin knew, and he smiled to reassure her that he was not trouble or a threat. Then he motioned for her to step inside instead of letting her stay in the apartment building's hallway. The girl returned the smile warily, walked in, and asked him, “I-Is Minho home?”

He shook his head as he closed the door behind her, stating, “He went to the store to get food for us to eat. He should be back in a few minutes.” He watched her nod, and stared are her idly, not realizing how uncomfortable it was probably making her feel. He was trying to memorize her appearance, registering it into his mind even though it wasn't the most reliable thing to use. He knew her. He knew who she was, knew her relationship to Minho, knew what happened between the two of them. It wasn't the first time he'd seen her, though it was the first time she'd seen him.

“You're very pretty,” He said candidly, voice holding no real emotion. She blushed, cheeks turning a bright red, and murmured a few words of thanks even as her eyes narrowed slightly. Then, to purely make her not as suspicious of him as she currently was, he decided to introduce himself, “My name is Taemin. I live here now.”

The girl blinked, and nodded slowly as if letting the statement sink in. “I'm Suzy, a friend of Minho oppa's. I'd better go, I only stopped by to say hello, but since Minho oppa isn't here... I'll come back later sometime.”

“Oh, okay.” He opened the door again, and stood silently, waiting for her to leave. His whole demeanor, whole presence, seemed to make her confused, he could feel it and see it, but couldn't comprehend what he was doing wrong. Was he acting strangely? Did he look weird to her? She waved hesitantly, giving him one final, assessing glance, before disappearing from his sight.

Humans were very hard to understand.



When I walked in through the door, I was startled to see Taemin waiting right in front of it, only a couple of feet away. It was either a coincidence, or he'd known, somehow, that I was going to be back from the store at that very minute. It was eerie, but I shook my head and strolled passed him, choosing to ignore it, placing the plastic bags I was carrying onto the kitchen counter. I was in the middle of taking everything I'd bought out to put in the cupboards when he came up beside me and spoke.

“A girl came to see you. Her name was Suzy.”

I froze, unmoving. Suzy? Why would she come here? We hadn't talked since we broke up, so why would she show up so suddenly at my apartment? And the fact that she'd come and seen Taemin made me feel uncomfortable. What would she think about seeing him here? “What did she say to you?” I asked him.

I watched as he tilted his head, hands placed on the edge of the counter, and he was alternating between leaning forward and leaning backward. “She just wanted to talk to you. But she'll be coming back later sometime, that's what she said.”

Later when? Today? Tomorrow? I almost asked this, but then sighed instead. It didn't really make a difference. No matter what she said, I doubted anything would change. Though wait, hadn't things already changed because of Taemin? I'd never thought I'd actually talk to someone again, have a friend – if a very unusual and mentally insane one – again, so maybe I was changing. The question was; did I want that? Hadn't I told myself that I wouldn't become close to anyone or anything ever again because they would eventually just be taken away from me?

I reached into one of the bags and pulled out two microwave dinners. It was the best I could do, since I couldn't cook very well and did not like the idea of letting the boy go anywhere near the stove. “You can go do something if you want, I'll call when dinner's ready.”

“No, that's okay,” He smiled brightly, and began to take things out of the bags as well, before putting them in the right cupboards and other places. “I'll help you.” I blinked in wonder, because he shouldn't have known where everything went so easily, but knew better than to question it. Maybe he was just really smart, or intuitive, or something. It didn't matter, I knew I wouldn't get a straight answer if I questioned him, so why bother?



This was a real dilemma.

I'd walked into his room, the make-shift one that had previously been my storage room, and just stood there, blankly. There were seriously so many things lying around, like boxes and boxes of random crap I didn't use or need probably, and Taemin had barely enough room on the floor to fit the comforter he slept on. I was already feeling kind of bad for making him sleep in such a place, but now that I fully saw how much of a mess – a dangerous one, too, with all that equipment thrown around haphazardly – I'd kept in the room, I couldn't allow myself to let him stay there.

So I said, “Hey, you can sleep in my bed for tonight, I'll sleep on the couch.”

He shook his head automatically. “No. I'm not going to take your bed, it's yours. I have my own, it's fine.”

“No, but you don't understand. This isn't somewhere someone should be sleeping,” I cringed slightly, because it was my fault that it wasn't. I was too lazy to do anything about it though. “It's not meant to be a bedroom. I'll be okay on the couch, so you can sleep in my bed.”

He frowned and looked seriously adamant about what he was saying. “No. I won't. If you want me to sleep somewhere else then I can sleep on the couch.” But that idea only made me feel even more guilty, because he was a guest and shouldn't have to sleep on that tiny excuse for a couch, even if his small body would fit better on it than mine would. However, before I could open my mouth to argue back, he opened his again. “We can both sleep in your bed.”

He said it with such finality that I was left stunned and unable to react for a moment as he picked up his pillow and walked passed me. By the time I followed him, Taemin was already in my room, and had placed his pillow beside mine and slid underneath the white and gray covers. Imagining myself sleeping in the same bed as him made it obvious to me that it was something I could not possibly do, so I turned to leave to go to the couch. But I was stopped by his voice, sounding at that second so incredibly mature and sensible.

“Minho, there's enough room for both of us. We can both share, we'll fit, it's not a problem.”

'Easy for you to say...' I thought, but gave up trying to persuade him to let me sleep in another place.

I made my way over, eyes fixed on the blankets instead of his staring gaze. Usually I slept without a shirt on, because it was more comfortable, but I wouldn't do that this time, for obvious reasons. When I got into the bed, I was lying on my side, facing away from the other, at the very edge, a precarious place to be, but I didn't know how to move closer to the middle when doing so would mean that I was moving closer to Taemin. Especially since my bed was already not the biggest size; I could already, if only barely, feel the warmth coming off of his body at my bare back. I heard him let out a small, sleepy little breath, and almost smiled. Sometimes he acted like such a young, naive child, and other times...

I closed my eyes, willing the thoughts away. If I kept up that thought train then I wouldn't ever be able to sleep. Without thinking about anything, it didn't take long for my mind to be overcome with my exhaustion, and in no time I was drifting off into slumber, with a boy I still knew hardly anything about sleeping right next to me.

Title: All She Knows;; Surrender;; She Will Be Loved
Pairing: Jonghyun/girl!Taemin
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, romance, angst, fluff, friendship
Summary: Taemin is the girl of Jonghyun's dreams, but no matter what he does he can never seem to get her to realize it. Instead she dates other men, and is always hurt and treated badly. What will it take for her to notice that the person that has always been there for her, has never left her side, is the one she's always been searching for?
A/N:  Based off of the three songs that they are titled after. Can be read as three seperate fics, but I prefer it to be connected and together~ =) Comments are very appreciated <33
Word Count: 2160 (in total)

all she knows
~ song by Bruno Mars

I walk into her house, using the spare key she'd given me back when we were best friends in high school, and notice right away that once again, she's the only one left at home, alone. The rooms that I can see are trashed, frames of photos lying around the floor, living room table flipped upside down, and there's shards of broken glass scattered around, from objects that are unknown to me. It's evident that there's been a fight, or that someone is upset, and I need to find her to make sure she's alright.

I call our her name, and there his silence. I try again and this time I hear a muffled reply coming from the bathroom. I walk gingerly over to the door and try the knob. It's locked, so I knock gently. “Taemin, are you okay? Open the door.”

But she yells that she's fine – in a voice that cracks and is filled with emotion – even though I know she isn't. She's trying to cover up the sounds of her sobs by having the tap of the sink turned on, but I can still hear her. They make it feel like knives are stabbing into my body, it hurts so much to not be able to do anything for her. I'm stuck on the outside, always, because she won't let me help her.
 
It's the second time in only six months that this has happened. Her boyfriend stays with her, things are fine and blissful, and then one day something happens and he snaps and destroys the house before leaving. He's only using her, I know he is, but she can't seem to get it into her head and won't stop letting him, and others like him, come back. She knows better but she can't help it; for some reason his love is all she knows and accepts. I've tried to tell her, convince her, but she won't hear any of it.

How can I heal a heart that can't feel? She's closed it off to almost everyone, having only a few people in her life at all times like she's afraid of losing them. I've always been there for her, never laid a hand on her or wronged her in any way, and yet she seems to shut her eyes or look right through me. I wish I could just grab her and kiss her, show her how much she means to me, but it would be selfish. It would be taking advantage of her, wouldn't it?

He's not the only man she's let into her life, her house, her heart. But every time the way it turns out is the same. She can't seem to find someone good, even though I'm right here, there for her through anything. She's been living this way for too long that she can't see how horrible it is, can't tell that this isn't the way love is supposed to be. She's never had real love before. I could show her if she'd let me, but she doesn't.

Everyday it's the same old thing.

I turn away from the door and punch the wall without thinking. I curse under my breath, because it really hurt, but I know it's nothing compared to what she is feeling. This is killing me, knowing that she can have so much more if she was with me but she'll never realize it. It isn't her fault; if the men she was with would just treat her better, the way she deserves, then she could be happy.

All she knows is the pain of being abandoned, of being alone. She's always left in that empty house, crying her eyes out in a corner by herself. I want her to know that things could be different, life could be so much better if we were together instead. However, I can never tell her. She'd never believe it.

And so the only thing I can do is wish that we were more than just friends. I'm the one she's searching for, but love from someone else is all she ever knows. 



surrender 
~ song by Billy Talent

Receiving a call from her is all it takes to get me out of my house in minutes. I'd always drop everything if she needed me, without a second thought. She didn't seem upset – she wasn't crying or yelling – and so I hope that maybe, maybe this time she's calling me just to see me. To talk to me about my life, our relationship, and not her life and her relationships with others like she usually does. She doesn't know how much this annoys me; I make sure to always be in good spirits for her, so that she can see how happy I am with her, how happy she could be if we were together. It's not fake, I'm only hiding the negative parts of how I feel. I really am always happy to see her and be around her.

I can see her even from across the street, sitting at a table reading a book. It looks like she's waiting for someone – she is – and it makes me smile to see that she seems alright, stable. I quickly get to the coffee shop, ordering two cups for us, before sitting down across from her. My heart skips a beat when she glances up and smiles, the bright gaze she fixes on me is something I always long for.

We talk for hours, sipping at cups of coffee and snacking on desserts that I buy for us. Then she asks me, “Why are you always in such a good mood, Jonghyun? I'm envious.”

I smile and reply in complete honesty, “When I'm with you, how would I not be able to be in a good mood?”

But she takes it in stride, shaking her head as she simply brushes the compliment off without a problem, like it's nothing. It sends a pang of despair in my heart, however, I shove it out and don't let it show in my expression.

We're killing time before she has to go to the dance club, where she works and performs. She's a beautiful, amazingly talented dancer, the passion she has for it is so obvious in every move she makes. She always leaves people in awe and wanting more, just like she does to me every moment that I'm around her. Sometimes I go to the club to watch, but this time I promise her that I won't (she thinks it's not something I would enjoy) even though I really want to.

I've become her crutch, the person who's there to keep her on her feet and keep moving. We've been friends since our first year of high school, and were always inseparable. I've been in love with her since that time as well, but never got the chance to confess to her; I was always too scared to, and most of the time she had a boyfriend because she was so popular and charming. There were always so many guys competing to win her heart, and I would've joined the game, too, if I wasn't the referee. I was never able to fully show her how much she meant to me, because we were best friends.

I've never had the nerve to ask her to be my girlfriend, to be mine. Have there been many times that I could have? Yes. I've never taken advantage of any of them, so did that mean that my chance had come and past? She's the best girl I've ever met, everything about her is wonderful. She's a flower in a field of weeds, and I'm always searching so hard for some way to make her realize my feelings. But this flower doesn't belong to me, and so it's thorns bite into my flesh and make my hands – and heart – bleed.

Every word, every thought, every sound. I want to hear them all. Every touch, every smile, every frown. I want to see them all. All the pain we've endured until now has made us even closer, stronger, together. All the hope that I loose when she finds another man and believes he's the one she finds and brings back when they break up and she comes to me like I'm so important to her. If only she knew how I felt.

Even though she's all I'm looking for, she always has a brick wall put up around her heart. And whenever the time comes along that she's willing to open it up and let someone in romantically, I'm never there or an option, apparently. It never occurs to her that I could be the one for her. If I could, I would travel back in time to our high school days and confess to her. But I'm still so afraid that she'd shoot the messenger. I'm still afraid that she'll never surrender herself to me, accept my love, and let us be together.



she will be loved
~ song by Maroon 5

Rain is pouring down from the dark sky, splattering against the shiny black surface of the car as I drive it down the street. I've been down this road many times, more than I can count, and it's always for the same purpose. My eyes squint, trying to find a familiar figure in the dim street lights that glow feebly in the onslaught of water. Slowing down when my gaze finds an alleyway beside a dance club, I park my car and get out, braving the weather. By the time I get there I'm soaked, but it doesn't matter, not when I've found her.

Without speaking, she grabs my hand and I lead us back to the car, though we'll only be going another block or so down the very same street to her house. We sit in silence once we get there, dripping water onto the leather seats as we soak up the heat coming from the fans I turned on. I shift to have a better look at her even though her eyes are staring straight, not at me.

I take in her appearance, in awe over how utterly beautiful she is, even soaked to the bone, with lips upturned humorlessly, and with bloodshot, distant eyes. Her wet light brown hair hangs down to her collarbone, short locks stuck along the skin of her forehead. She's lithe, yet tall - taller than me - and any other time she'd have a look of confidence, holding her head up high as she moves, smiling that smile that mesmerizes and captivates all who are priveledged to witness it. A secret smile that only a few get to see. A smile I fell in love with.

But she's far from that girl at that moment, and it hurts me to see. I don't have to ask to know why she called me, to find out what happened. Her latest boyfriend broke up with her. It's always like this; they take advantage of her trusting heart, and then once they've had their fun they leave her behind.

“Look at me...” I reach over and entwine our fingers once again, holding hers tightly so that they don't tremble anymore. “Tae... Taemin, look at me.”

And she does, though with her eyes brimming with fresh tears it's a wonder if she can even see me. I pull her over, sliding her body into the small space between me and the steering wheel. I hold her in my arms as she cries, closing my eyes, breathing in her scent.

We've been like this so many times, me and her. I've had her so many times but it's not how I truly want. No matter how long we are together she always belongs to someone else. My heart longs for her, wants us to be so much more, but settles for this because it's more than I could ever ask for. I know everything that makes her who she is, and having this wonderful person in my life is a blessing in itself.

I'll always be here for her, at any time, at any place. She can knock on the door of my house, tap on the window of my car, and I'll do whatever it takes to make her believe that she's beautiful again, help her regain her strength because she doesn't need to beg me to catch her every time she falls. I don't mind waiting in the rain, looking for the girl with the broken smile. She's my everything, and she'll always be loved.

Oblivious at the time, her eyes had turned up to gaze at me while I thought as something fresh and new blooms in her heart.
 
Hope.

Because maybe this time she'll fall for the one person who's always cared for her, the one person she could always trust and count on no matter the circumstances.

Maybe this time she'll fall for me.

And maybe, just maybe, this relationship's story will end in 'happily ever after'...

 

Title: The Breakthrough
Pairing: mostly Leeteuk-centric, minor!Sungmin/Kyuhyun, minor!Leeteuk/Heechul
Rating: PG-13
Genre: friendship, slight romance, angst, tragedy, comfort
Summary: Leeteuk is unable to figure out where he is, what he's doing there, and why it's all happened. He's surrounded by people he doesn't know, and no matter how hard he tries he can't understand anything that is going on. What happened to make him like this? And will he ever be able to get out of it and remember anything at all?
A/N: Well this fic was completely random XD but I really wanted to write something like this, about a person in a coma and everything. It was a challenge~! Hope you enjoy! Comments are very appreciated <3
Word Count: 1605




When he becomes conscious, Jungsu lays still for a moment and tries to comprehend what's going on. He tries to concentrate, but finds that his mind is fuzzy, like it's moving in slow motion through thick mud, and discovers that his thought processes aren't functioning properly. After some time he gets frustrated with not being able to figure anything out on his own, and so he attempts to get up and find someone to help him. Only he can't. It takes an agonizing 30 seconds for him to come to terms with the fact that he's unable to move any part of his body. He calms himself down though – there's no need to add 'frantic' to his muddled feelings – and relaxes, opening his mind to anything that may help him understand what's happening.

He focuses on his body, noting how it feels like he's all in one piece and how nothing is in pain, which makes him once again question why he is immobile. There's something close to his head that's making a sound. The beeping isn't that loud, it's slow and steady, constant, but for some reason it unnerves him. Like it's something unnatural, something that doesn't belong. He breathes in and out without focusing on the action itself, only observing how the air is stale and slightly stifling.

Then he hears another noise; a click like a door opening, and then there are a number of footsteps slowly approaching the bed he's lying on. Jungsu can't, no matter how hard he tries, open his eyes to see who is standing around him, but he knows someone – no, more people than that – is there. Then a low, older and professional voice starts to speak from above him.

“All of his vitals are sound. Physically he's perfectly fine, but for some reason, we're not quite sure what it is, he's not waking up.”

“What?” Another voice, younger, and laced with concern. “Does that mean he's in a coma? Isn't that bad? I thought people didn't come out of those very often...”

“That's not true. The car accident made him sustain a small injury to his head, as well as other minor injuries, but his brain activity is completely stable and normal. We believe he might be taking a long time to recover emotionally and that is what is hindering him from waking up.”

“But... how is that possible when he's not even awake to feel anything?”

“Come on, just leave it alone, hyung. We don't have much time to visit him so let's talk about all of this later, hm?”

What? He'd already been confused over the fact that he couldn't seem to move, but now he was even more confused over what was going on. Car accident? He'd been in a car accident? And who are these people around him? He knows one is a doctor, obviously, but who are the others? He couldn't recognize any of the voices... Are they family just coming to see him because he'd gotten hurt? Where was his mother and father?

He jolts – mentally – in surprise when something touches him. It's a hand, small and gentle, that grasps onto his, holding on like a child would hold onto their parent if they were scared or nervous. It nudges at a memory in the back of his mind, somehow, as if that one person's hands was something very significant.

The person who owns the hand doesn't speak, because the next voice that talks is on the other side of his bed, closer to his legs. The voice has an unusual accent – he probably isn't from Seoul, he assumes – and it's very soft, like it's on the edge of breaking and the person is about to fall to pieces. “We miss you... Please, come back and get better soon, okay, hyung?” Hyung? So he's older than him? Who could this be?

There's a sound like the shifting of fabric, and then he hears muffled sobs somewhere near the foot of his bed accompanied by low whispers of “It's okay, hyung, he'll be alright.” Someone is comforting whoever is crying, but who are they? There's no need to cry over him, it's not like he's dead or anything...

A voice comes from very close to his head then, and he feels the slight movement of the bed as someone puts some of their weight on it gently. Then he hears the person begin murmuring something under his breath, something continuous but too quiet for him to catch. Another, beside that person, speaks louder, in a voice that is clear and high almost like a female. “We'll be waiting for you, so don't take too long, please...”

Suddenly a smell fills his nostrils; the sweet, sugary scent of candy. The smell brings a flash of memory to him--

“Hey, pass it over!”

Loud laughter rings out, and a hand reached over passed his line of sight to someone sitting beside him. It's dark, hard to see, but there is some light coming from outside the... Wait, where are they?

“Come on~ I want some, too, you know!”

“Calm down! You're so impatient!” More laughter.

--and it only serves to confuse him even more. Someone is leaning over him, and he feels a gentle, warm pressure on his forehead. A kiss.

Before he can figure anything out about this person who seemed to be helping him remember what had happened and what was going on, he moved away, and another person began to speak. But he couldn't even concentrate on the words being said, because the sound of that voice sparks so much emotion in him, and it brings him back again.

“So hey, hyung, do you think the choreography I helped with was good?” The younger man's tone is sheepish, unsure as always about whether or not he's done something well. He feels himself smile reassuringly.

“Don't worry so much, Hyukjae, you were amazing, and everyone loves the dance.”

“You really think so?” He catches a glimpse of a bright smile even in the dim lighting of where they are. Suddenly there's a screech of metal, just when he's about to speak again, and the other turns his head towards the front, eyes wide, and yells “HYUNG, WATCH OUT!”

He remembers darkness, then flashing red and blue lights. Loud sounds that are piercing and painful. And all he wants to do is sleep...

So he does.

Jungsu snaps out of his reverie, wanting so much to be able to move, because he's sure he should be shaking right now. So the people here were in a car accident with him. Something had happened and they'd crashed into another car. But these people weren't his family, weren't people he could remember. Was he still missing something from his memories? Yes, now he came to realize that he was.

Finally another voice, different from all the rest, speaks, not letting the quiet that had engulfed the room carry on any longer.

“Come back to us, Teukkie. You may be old, but you're not old enough to die. Don't you dare leave us. I'm not going to be leader... I--” The stern, sharp voice loses it's edge towards the end, cracking in an obvious attempt at trying to hold in too much emotion. It spills out by the end though, the words 'I need you' left unsaid, yet still heard by Jungsu's ears.

But then a hard hit of sadness passes through him, because he knows that even if he couldn't hear the speaker's voice, the word choice alone should have given away who was standing at his bedside right at that moment. However, he can't for the life of him figure it out. The feelings are there, the nostalgia, so much of it that he's sure there would be tears in his eyes if it wasn't for the fact that he was not able to move any part of his body. The thing is, he can't even remember why it should be happening.

What really hurts though, is that even when the familiarity is so strong, he can't put names to the voices. He should be able to, he knows this. These are the people most dear to him so he must remember exactly who they are. He focuses with all his willpower, pushing his exhausted but determined mind until finally it breaks through whatever had been hindering him and all the memories come rushing back. He remembers his life, his family, his friends, the car accident; everything.

He parts his chapped lips and croaks out a few words from a throat that's rusty from not being used for a while.

“If you become leader... Super Junior is doomed...”

There's a round of gasps around the room and then a hesitant voice – his mind, now renewed, connects it to Sungmin, who was also the one who had been crying – calls out. “Teuk hyung..?”

He wills his heavy, tired eyes to flicker open, and when they do he catches a flash of pink, a glimpse of blonde hair, and the sight of many shapes surrounding him. But the blinding light that floods his vision hurts too much for him to maintain it, so his lids shut quickly in pain. However, it's enough of a sign, because there are yells – of joy, surprise, relief – and suddenly it's very hard to breathe with so many people rushing to try and touch him, hold him, to make sure that he's really alright.

And Jungsu smiles through the tears, as do they all, vowing in his mind to never leave them or forget them, his friends, his family, ever again.

Title: The One, Last Love
Pairing: Jonghyun/Taemin, Jonghyun/Jessica
Rating: PG-15
Genre: romance, angst, fluff
Summary: The first night they spend together is a night to remember. But it's the days that follow that are what really matter, and what shape and change their lives so completely. The story of how they fell in love, fell out of love, and how it all turned out in the end.
A/N: I am back! After such a long hiatus! I wonder if anyone even remembers me and my fics XD anyway, this fic is my comeback fic! And it is dedicated to the amazing, wonderful, crazy bopeep_achu ~ because I wrote it for your birthday and because I love you so much! =) Hope you all enjoy! Comments are very appreciated <3
Word Count: 5898




It all started that one, fateful night. Neither can forget it; every moment of it etched into their minds clearly, fresh and alive in their memory as if it happened only yesterday. It changed their lives so completely and utterly, not so much at that time, but in the future. They didn't know it at the time, were only thinking of what was going on that very instant. But later, much later, they'd begin to wonder how things would have turned out - better or worse - had they stopped themselves from committing those sins that night.

What would their lives be like, in the present, had they never fallen in love?

- -

The members of SHINee, plus their manager, had been allowed to take a break, a vacation of sorts. SM Entertainment had been kind enough to let them go to Japan without having to perform or take part in any activities; it was supposed to be a real break, in which they'd be able to rest and get ready to start on their next album. It was unexpected, but considering that many fans had begun to protest, stating that SME treated them badly and that they didn't get a lot of time to recuperate, it was probably something that was going to happen sooner or later, if only so that SME could better their reputation.

Sleeping in a hotel wasn't bad, though it took some getting used to as they were accustomed to their dormitory. They'd had to split into pairs and share rooms; Minho with Kibum, Jinki with their manager, and Jonghyun with Taemin (they'd secretly played rock-paper-scissors, the loser being the one who would have to share with their manager, who, though they were respectful and appreciative of, snored extremely loudly). The days they had stayed there were relatively normal in temperature, except one day that was unusually hot, and kept them indoors for most hours. Even as night drew closer, the heat was there, and Jonghyun and Taemin found themselves lazing around without shirts on.

The day was quickly ending, and they lay side by side, heads propped up on pillows as they dazedly watched the television in front of the large, lone bed in their room. Images of a rookie girl group, the name of which they had no idea, flashed on the screen, but the music was turned down low to a steady murmur and the two males weren't even really paying much attention.

“It's too hot...” Taemin groaned, rubbing at his slightly sweaty face. Even at the age of seventeen he was still baby-faced, which was a subject of torment that the other members of SHINee used against him often. The lead vocalist didn't use it as much as the others however, because the maknae would often come back with a retort concerning his height. Needless to say, they were usually on the same side whenever someone decided to start teasing.

He grunted in reply, blaming the temperature for making him too tired to even speak properly. Jonghyun sat up, suddenly thirsty, and moved to grab the drink that he'd earlier put down on the nightstand on his younger group member's side of the bed. He propped himself up on his right hand, left seeking the drink. His fingertips grazed the bare skin of Taemin's shoulder, and a spark of something - he had no idea what - flashed through him so suddenly it made him pause for a second, before continuing to reach over for the glass of water. He felt curious eyes on him, but he didn't meet them even though he was leaning closely over the owner of them. Jonghyun's hand enclosed around the glass, and had just begun to lift it up, when a tender, shy touch to his abdomen surprised him and made his grip slacken, the glass slipping from his grasp and thumping down onto the carpet. He turned his gaze then, wide brown eyes staring down into the equally bewildered ones below, drink now laying forgotten on the floor.

It seemed like any logic he had in his head went away for a while, replaced with feelings that he wasn't used to, and a desire so strong that it was completely startling to say the least. If he'd been in his right mind, he'd blame the heat, blame the glistening sweat on the beautiful body laying beneath him, blame the aroused gaze that the boy was staring at him with. If he'd been in his right mind, he would've moved to lie back down and ignore the strange spark that had just set them both on the edge of doing something unforgivable. But he wasn't, and so instead, he leaned down and kissed him, hard and deep, and sent them both tumbling off into a free fall through sin.

Jonghyun marveled at the other's innocent sensuality, at his own gentleness and care in which he touched him, kissed him, held him. It was so new; he'd never behaved like this before. He'd been with others before, that wasn't what was new to him, but he'd never been with someone of the same gender, and he found it oddly fascinating at how he treated Taemin like he was more fragile than any woman. It started off somewhat slowly, with shy caresses because neither knew just exactly what they should do in the situation. But it didn't take a large amount of time for them to both gain confidence, become bolder, deepen the kisses and change the areas in which they touched each other to more sensitive places. He pressed his tongue to the roof of the other's mouth, the moan that was elicited afterwards only convincing him to keep going, to continue doing these sinful things. The two of them held on to each other, no looking back, and became one without any thought of what it could mean, of what the consequences may be.

It was that same night, as Jonghyun lay awake while his lover was sleeping, that he realized something. It hadn't been the first time. Of course, it had been the first time they'd kissed, the first time they'd made love, but in a sense, it wasn't the first time they'd connected in a romantic way. Thinking back, he noticed the subtle, tell-tale signs that there was more than friendship between the two of them, the small, yet evident, actions and looks. Like during Hello Baby, when their playful banters and fights had always turned into hugs and other unnecessary affectionate gestures (mostly off-camera). Like when they were moving about their usual daily routine, and would flash small smiles at one another for no apparent reason. Like during practice, when he would mess up a move and Taemin would automatically be there to help him, guiding his body with lingering caresses until he could do the dances to the best of his ability, almost flawlessly.

How had he not seen it sooner? How, when he'd been so awfully frustrated and angry after hearing how the younger boy was being bullied and treated badly at school? How, when he was always seeking childlike attention from him even though he himself was older? How, when the other was always telling him how much he cared about him and cherished him, while staring at him with that admiring, beautiful gaze of his? 'I'm blind...' he thought, smiling gently at Taemin's sleeping form. He was murmuring something too quiet for him to hear; he was dreaming. Jonghyun kissed the top of his head and slowly closed his eyes.

He'd been blind before, but now he could see. And that was all that mattered.



The events of the next morning were ones that they both found very amusing and yet, at the same time, absolutely terrifying.

Kibum came to the door at too early of a time for either of them to fully expect it. They yelled for him to go away, to come back later because they were tired and still wanted to sleep. But the boy would hear none of it; he wanted them out right then. They should have been able to not worry about it, should have been able to just ignore the demand and do whatever they wanted. However, there was a little fact that Kibum only let them in on mere seconds before he used it to his advantage. That fact was that he had a key to their room, and fully intended to use it to get in and get them to wake up and get ready. The problem about that was that Jonghyun and Taemin were both lying in the same bed, in each others arms, and completely naked.

They only had the chance to tumble out of said bed, and cover themselves with the sheets while on the floor, which did not help the situation at all, since what had happened the night before was still quite obvious. And when Kibum walked into the room, his expression said it all. His jaw dropped, his eyes widened, and he stood frozen for what seemed like many minutes but was really only a few seconds.

The issuing havoc had garnered the attention of their other members – thankfully their manager had stayed sleeping – and they were soon standing beside a shrieking Key sharing similar expressions. Jonghyun had tried to say “I can explain, K-Kibum just calm down--” and Taemin had attempted to say something like “Hyung, please, it's not what it looks like... I mean... Wait, don't throw that at Jonghyun--” to no avail. It took Minho and Jinki to stop the rapper from doing anything he may regret in the future, and then their leader had made them all sit down to talk it all out. That is, after the two bare males had gotten some clothes on, of course.

“So, Jonghyun, please enlighten us on why you took advantage of our young Taemin and--”

“Kibum, calm down,” Jinki interrupted, and the other huffed and rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath that 'I am calm, what does it look like?' He took over, switching his focus in order to address the two that sat across from him, Kibum, and Minho. But this was their socially awkward leader, and so the most he was able to get out of his mouth was “W-Why... You two, er...”

Taemin had subsequently giggled at that point, and then covered his mouth with a hand when Key sent him a dark look. He glanced at the male sitting beside him, who flashed him a small smile of reassurance before parting his lips to start to explain to the others. “Taemin and I... Last night we...” Sensing that the youngest of their group was uncomfortable with him stating exactly what went on, Jonghyun got straight to the point. “We're in love.”

The statement received a grin from Minho – which lessened after he was elbowed in the side by Kibum – and caused Taemin's cheeks to turn pink. Jinki nodded slowly and replied, “Okay. I don't think any of us object--” he continued on quickly before a certain diva could try to interject with his own opinion. “--because we want you both to be happy. Just be careful, okay? You should know how difficult it is to keep secrets since we are idols, and... these sorts of relationships aren't usually accepted easily at all here.”

Jonghyun reached over and entwined his fingers with Taemin's, smiling gently at his lover before turning back to his friends, glad to see that the protective edge in Key's eyes was softening and most likely for the both of them now, and not just his 'baby'.

“Thank you,” he murmured, meaning it with all his heart.



For many glorious months they were able to be together. Going out whenever they could, otherwise just staying in to spend time together. The amount in which they knew each other grew, in ways only lovers could. They fell even more in love with every day that passed, and though sometimes they had their differences and argued or fought, they could always resolve whatever the problem had been. The others were supportive, which they appreciated more than they could ever express. Jonghyun was still the romantic he always was, and Taemin, though a lot shyer, basked in the care that he was shown. The moments they had were treasured. And they were both content.

But as the saying goes; all good things come to an end, nothing lasts forever.

The day that their lives would be flipped upside down came along out of nowhere. They'd been foolish and not careful enough in hiding themselves from view. They were out at a restaurant, in disguises as to not be recognized, but usually even then they wouldn't act like a couple, wouldn't hold hands or anything like that. However, that time they'd slipped up, and outside in an alleyway they had kissed. They hadn't known that someone had figured out who they were, had followed them out of the restaurant, and had seen the clear show of love that they'd shared. They also didn't know that this person took a picture of the moment, and that very same day had gone to SM Entertainment, demanding a large sum of money or else he would go public with the image.

Jonghyun and Taemin, along with the other three members of SHINee, had been called to the building. And it was there that they were faced with the absolute fury of the people who practically owned and ran their lives.

"Your feelings for each other will only hinder your ability to preform. You're being reckless kids, I thought you knew better than that. What were you thinking?! Two men cannot be together! Not here, not when you're as famous as you are! You have to stop this right now, this very instant. Get it into your stupid, thick skulls that you two cannot be together!"

Every word was like a blow to their hearts, crushing down their feelings and thoughts slowly and piercingly. The air they breathed in felt wrong, difficult, like they were suffocating. The thought of not being together any longer was unacceptable, something neither could truly fathom. But the company's statements were vehement, their opinion unable to be swayed or persuaded otherwise. There was nothing they could do.



When they went back to their dormitory, Kibum, Minho, and Jinki left them alone, letting them be together without any question. They were understanding, knew that they were both in a lot of anguish, though the extent of the emotion was completely unknown to all of them.

There was a painful pounding against his ribcage, not from lack of oxygen, or from the fierce intensity of the kisses they were sharing, but from despair. This was the last time. The last time they would be together. Knowing that made it all bittersweet, and made Jonghyun kiss him harder, touch him more roughly, seeking some way – any way – to change it and make them able to stay with each other. It was unfair, so unfair. They'd stumbled their way to the bedroom, tumbling onto the mattress of the singer's bed, still clinging, not wanting to part even for a second. They took out their frustrations on one another, biting with more intent, kissing until there was no breath left in lungs, but neither minded. Taemin pulled him down, clawing at his back for him to be closer - 'closer, dammit, hyung,' he'd whined with tears sparkling in his eyes – and the pain in Jonghyun's heart grew almost insufferable. It was love; the love he felt for him that was making this hurt so much, making him hurt so much.

Afterward, they lay together, still holding on, pressing against each other. Taemin's shaking, sobbing body made him grit his teeth, trying to not let his own emotions spill out from his eyes. The slender form curling into his body made his arms tighten protectively, and he cursed under his breath. Why couldn't they stay together? They belonged with each other, so why? Of course, he knew all the reasons why, but to him – to them – they were not good enough, nothing was a good enough reason to force them to be apart. To be only friends when there was so much more going on between them, how could he manage to do it? It would be absolutely agonizing to just touch him like any other person would, to just watch and not kiss, to talk only as a friend or brother would, not at night while curled up under the covers together after long, tiresome days. Hiding his feelings would be too hard.

But even though he knew all of this, knew he loved him with every fiber of his being and was loved back equally as much, he knew it could not continue. They couldn't be together, not in this lifetime. SME made that absolutely crystal clear. However much he wanted to be with him, care for him, for the rest of his life, it could not happen. And knowing this, he felt himself starting to withdraw from Taemin. Painfully. Finger by finger, like he was holding on for dear life to the edge of a cliff. He had to let go. For his sake, he had to stop loving him.



According to SME, the best way for him to do that was to find someone more 'proper' to love. Someone who, for a while, would be his other half. Someone who they could control without any difficulty, someone who would only be used to help increase the popularity of both their groups and their company. They chose this person, explained the situation and what they would need to do. And Jonghyun could do nothing to stop it, was helpless, because this was all his fault and he needed to amend everything, make it up to the people he owed his life to.

The person they chose to be his girlfriend was Jessica.

They were close friends, and many thousands of fans already supported the 'couple', which SME thought would be perfect. If they were together, it would boost SHINee and SNSD's fame, not to mention get Jonghyun's mind off of the person he could never be with, according to them. Jessica had agreed to it, not really having a choice in the matter much like the other, and after talking it out together, alone, they'd come to terms with what they would have to do. They needed to convincing, make sure the world thought they really were together.

The plan – that neither had created but was given and ordered to use – was that they would first gather their two groups together and announce their new relationship to them. The day they were forced to do it all was, distressingly, the anniversary of the first night Jonghyun and Taemin had been together.

The nine members of SNSD and five members of SHINee were gathered in a large room in the dormitory building, some sitting on chairs, some standing, with the two that had called them all together standing at the front where everyone could see them. Jonghyun felt like he was going to vomit, either that or pass out. The exasperated feelings that churned within him wanted out, but he couldn't let them. He stared down at his feet, focusing on breathing in and out deeply in order to keep himself in check. There was nothing he could do. This was it. No turning back no matter how much he wished he could. He longed to look up and catch a certain teenager's eye, to run over and gather him into his arms, kiss him, never let go. But he couldn't. Never again.

Seeing that he had no intention of speaking at that moment, Jessica took it as her responsibility to spill the news, making sure to paste one of her blinding, fake smiles as she stressed the fact that SME had completely approved of the relationship. The room had erupted into gasps, squeals, and a numerous other reactions from the females. However, Jinki, Minho, Kibum, and Taemin all had completely different, much more negative responses. But the four of them kept silent.

That familiar gaze, one which he used to love, felt like it was burning into him, blazing with pain and accusations. Had he thought they'd somehow manage to remain together, in secret? It couldn't happen, Jonghyun knew. But he didn't say anything to Taemin, didn't say a word, only reached out to join his hand with Jessica's, before turning his back to the boy who'd given him his heart. The very same heart he'd just so cruelly broken and left behind, seemingly without a second thought.

When they'd returned to the dormitory, Jonghyun had locked himself in the bathroom, wanting to avoid the onslaught of questions that he was sure he'd receive from his friends. He spent over an hour in there, sitting on the floor picking at the rug, before a loud banging on the door startled him. A voice called out that someone needed to use the toilet, and so he had no choice but to get up and get out.

Slowly he turned the knob and opened the door, flickering his lowered gaze up once to see who it was. With a jolt he saw that it was Taemin, and the ache in his chest that he was starting to accept as an ever present thing intensified. He kept his face tilted down, eyes closed, bracing himself for what was to come. He expected him to yell, to cry, maybe to even hit him. He expected him to do something. But he didn't. The boy simply slipped passed him quietly and shut the door, leaving him standing outside in shock. It was like somewhere deep in his heart he had hoped that the dancer would say something to him, some objection, some expression of how much he didn't want him to be with Jessica. Like if he did things would change, and they'd be able to find some way out of the situation together. Jonghyun felt like beating his foolish head against the wall. He squashed that faint hope, miserably, feeling the happiness he'd had in his life draining away.

There was nothing left of the love they once had, was what he told himself. Nothing.

This statement was only further set into their minds when the next week SME announced to the world that they were dating. Fans erupted, sites malfunctioned because of all of the back-lash, and the whole thing caused a lot of craziness in the days that followed. But things calmed down after a while, and most fans began to accept it as the truth. It hurt for that to happen, in a way, because it was almost like, to Jonghyun, if the fans accepted it it was a done deal. Like it was really the truth, permanently.



Gradually, with every day that came and went, Taemin could feel himself slipping away. He was becoming more withdrawn, introverted, almost like back in their debut days, except then it had been simply because he was so shy. With every plain, closed-off look that Jonghyun gave him, there was an adoring one for Jessica. With every hug to the other members, he was certain there was cuddling and kissing with Jessica, though he never saw it. He was losing himself. Without Jonghyun, things felt duller, less important and worth less, like a black and white painting that had once been filled with vibrant colours but had had it all drained away.

It had been a three month period filled with tribulations. He had to endure it all and not let anyone know how he was actually feeling. But Taemin could feel his will to do so evaporating. Adding to his troubles was the exhaustion and anxiety of getting ready for their next comeback. They hadn't had one since about a year ago, so it was about time. The new choreography was difficult, tiring, and he used it to his advantage whenever he could. After everyone had already gone back to the dormitory, he would remain, alone. Sometimes the others – mainly Kibum and Jinki – would protest, but his logical answer of 'I'm lead dancer, I need to know and be able to do this dance perfectly' usually convinced them to let him stay behind to practice more.

Normally, when he decided to do this, he was able to stay for as long as he wanted, and would come back before he was meant to go to bed (according to Kibum there was a specific time that they all had to be in bed sleeping in order to be rested as much as possible). However, this time Taemin remained for longer than he should have, without realizing it as he had no watch and the clock in the large dance room a floor down from their dormitory wasn't working.

He'd shed his sweater earlier when the whole of SHINee had been there, tying it around his waist, and with every move he danced he spun around with him. Working through the steps, going back if he believed he hadn't done one absolutely impeccably, took all of his concentration, and his gaze barely ever left his own reflection in the mirror. He was in his own world, and did not notice when someone walked into the room and went to stand leaning against the back wall. Not until they spoke, that is.

“You should be in bed, you know. If Kibum was awake you'd be in serious trouble.”

To his own mortification, Taemin tripped over his own foot while trying to spin around to see who was there, the shock of the fact that he wasn't by himself being what made him so suddenly off-balance. He fell, his palms slapping against the ground loudly on impact, and he found himself looking up from a seated position at the one person he did not want to see.

It was Jonghyun, who a moment ago had been idly staring at the floor, but when he'd fallen he had rushed over and knelt down beside him, asking if he was alright. After he murmured an affirmative, they lapsed into an awkward silence, neither knowing what to say at all. They were avoiding each other's gazes, looking anywhere but into the depths of their former-lover's brown eyes. But spontaneously, they met. Accidentally. And then the flooding of all the emotions Taemin had locked away made him feel like his chest was going to explode.

In that one glance he was able to remember all the memories, moments they shared together. Everything was flashing through his mind. The day they'd been caught, and been told that they couldn't be together any longer. The last time they were able to kiss and hold each other. The day the announcement of Jonghyun and Jessica's relationship. All of the love, pain, misery, happiness, came pouring back, unable to stay away any longer though he had thought he'd locked it up so he wouldn't feel it again. But that wasn't what caused the most effect in him, no. It was what was in Jonghyun's eyes that did it.

Usually, every time he'd look into those brown orbs, those ones that had once held love for him, he'd feel a wave of sorrow pass through him. The reason it would happen was because they were no longer bright and fun-filled because of him. Instead, he was fully aware of the fact that the emotions that flashed in that gaze was because of someone else, his girlfriend, and it hurt to just think about it, not to mention see it. But this moment was different. It was as if a veil had been taken away from Jonghyun's eyes, and he was able to see everything. All of the real feelings that he felt and hid inside.

He was finally able to see that all the pain he himself felt, all of it, was reflected genuinely in the other.

Taemin couldn't stop it. He choked on a sob, and unable to restrain himself any longer, he launched himself at the other. Wrapping his arms around his neck, he kissed him with an intensity so strong that Jonghyun was momentarily too shocked to even move. In that kiss was all of the melancholy he felt, every pure emotion he'd ever felt because of the singer flowing profusely into the one who caused them all. He needed to show him, make him feel everything he felt. Make him understand that he couldn't stand it any longer.

They'd kissed passionately, touching each other with a familiarity but shyness that came from not having done so in so long. Holding and being held felt so wonderful and right when it was with the other, and they spent the night there in the practice room. Kibum was the only one who knew it happened – though Jonghyun and Taemin themselves were oblivious to the fact that the diva knew – for he had woken up and gone down to the room when he'd seen the two empty beds. But he hadn't stirred them, instead letting them sleep there, because he knew how much they still loved each other, and believed in his heart that they should be allowed to be together.

The next morning, after sharing a long kiss, they had decided to confront the President.



“I can not be with Jessica.”

The people in the room, all much older and more experienced than him, stared in confusion and anger. A few began to open their mouths to protest, but Jonghyun held up a hand, bowing his head politely in order to be allowed to finish what he wanted to say. When no one spoke up, he took it as his chance to speak his mind.

“She is a wonderful person, a good friend of mine, but I can not be her boyfriend. We don't love each other romantically, so I think it is unfair for us to be together. I don't want to lie to the world, to her, to myself, anymore,” He paused, setting his determined, serious gaze on every person in the room before continuing on. “I am in love with Taemin, this boy, Lee Taemin. I want to be with him, and I don't want to disobey any of you. I do owe so much to you all, because I wouldn't be fulfilling my dreams if it weren't for SME, but I can not deny my heart of being with the one person it wants to be with.”

And then, to everyone's absolute bewilderment, Jonghyun got down onto the ground. He sat on his legs, hands placed down in front of him, and bowed until his forehead was against the cold tiles. There were collective gasps around the room, and Taemin quickly made to follow his lover, bowing down as well. Together they said, “Please,” making sure that it was completely evident how much this mattered to them and how much they meant everything that had been said. This was no spur of the moment thing, no casual fling, no infatuation with the other. This was real love, and they would do anything to protect it and each other.

There was silence for quite a while, and then a slow murmur started to pick up. The President ordered them to get to their feet, and when they did they saw that the man had his face in his hands. It took a few minutes for him to gather his thoughts, but when he did he stood up to address them properly. He walked over until he was only a couple of feet away, then he spoke again.

“Children these days think they know everything. They think they know what they want, think they know how to achieve it all, think they know exactly what to do without any consequences. But they are almost always wrong. How can one decide such important matters when they have not even lived and seen the world and the way it works for 25 years?” The man shook his head, and for a second, a sinking feeling filled Jonghyun and Taemin. But he wasn't finished. “However, sometimes children come along, still so young and fresh, and know what to do in their lives. It gives old men like me a scare, because we're supposed to look out for the younger generations. What use would we be if they already knew what to do and did not need any help? I don't believe that the two of you know everything. I don't believe that by yourselves, you can get through life without any trouble. But who am I to deny you the chance of trying? Who would I be if I did not at least try to aid you, and remove the first obstacle that stands in your way?”

The two young men glanced at each other, and the hope filling in those gazes made tears start to form. When they looked back at the president of the company, what they saw on his face made them almost start crying in happiness right then and there.

For he was smiling, the first smile they'd seen from him in a very long time, and was nodding.

They had gotten approval. They were able, allowed, to be together.

Taemin fell into Jonghyun's arms, unable to keep himself upright properly without help. They did not kiss, not wanting to push their limits while in the presence of so many members of the company, but they held onto each other tightly, whispering in the other's ear that finally, finally they could be together. They could be in love.

Finally, things could be as they should be.

- -

It all started that one, fateful night. Neither can forget it; every moment of it etched into their minds clearly, fresh and alive in their memory as if it happened only yesterday. It changed their lives so completely and utterly, not so much at that time, but in the future. They didn't know it at the time, were only thinking of what was going on that very instant. But later, much later, they'd begin to wonder how things would have turned out - better or worse - had they stopped themselves from committing those sins that night.

Many times they would ask themselves and ask each other what they thought their lives would be like now if they hadn't fallen in love. Would things be easier? Maybe. Would things be less chaotic and secretive? Maybe. Would they be less tired and stressed? Maybe. They could never come to a complete agreement with those questions; some days it was a yes and sometimes a no, so they would usually say maybe. But there were questions that they could answer without a problem, without a second thought, and always agreed with each other over.

Would they be more lonely? Yes. Would they be less happy? Yes.

Would their lives be less enjoyable? Less filled with sweet days? Less filled with passionate nights? Less filled with precious moments that neither would ever forget? Less filled with each other? Less filled with everything that meant something, sometimes the world, to them?
Yes.

And was everything they'd gone through worth it?

Yes.

Title: Keys
Pairing: Leeteuk/Siwon
Rating: pg-13 (one swear word from Heenim XD)
Genre: friendship, humor
Summary: They get locked out of the apartment with only a delicious homemade cake as company, other than themselves of course.
A/N: [3/100] this was so random XD hehe~ just something short and cute I thought up for this prompt~ hope you enjoy! comments are ♥ Archive Here~



It was two days after their last performance of Bonamana and No Other, their final goodbye stage. Even though they'd already had a celebration at a restaurant the day before, they'd all mutually agreed on the idea to have another huge party in the comfort of their dormitory and they were currently in the middle of it.

Ryeowook ran around filling up the others plates with food, sitting down to chat often, joining in on the conversation that peaked his interest. Sungmin lay on his side on the couch, head balanced on the maknae's lap as he munched on some snacks. Kyuhyun himself was watching the four in front of him who were engaged in a very serious – not so much – game on the floor. The other three, Siwon, Leeteuk, and Yesung watched and awaited their turns (for they would play the winner), eating all the delicious food placed before them.

An hour or so later they decided it was time for dessert – “And then out comes the soju!” Heechul exclaimed, to which there were groans in response; a drunk Cinderella was even crazier and louder than a sober one – and Ryeowook informed them that he'd made a special cake for the occasion. Ever willing to eat dessert made by their eternal maknae, hands had shot up at the question of who would go down to the 11th floor to get it.

“Enough, stop arguing you two,” Leeteuk stood and stretched, having been sitting on the floor for a long time, nudging Eunhyuk and Shindong with his foot. “I'll go get it.”

“Hyung, I'll go with you,” Siwon volunteered, and had it been anyone other than him the others would have harassed him for fear of the person getting some of the cake first. But it was Siwon, and his personality didn't allow such selfish things. Besides, he wasn't stupid; he knew he'd be in trouble with Heechul and Sungmin, let alone the other six members, if he came back with a piece missing.

“Bring it back in one piece,” Donghae called, stating what they already knew to do, and then went back to teasing Eunhyuk about something or other while Yesung messed with their stereo system to get some music playing.

The door to the apartment was unlocked because their manager was taking refuge there. Being as quiet as they could, the two of them crept to the fridge and pulled out the chocolate and vanilla ice cream cake that was there on a plate. It looked absolutely mouth-watering, and it took all of the leader's willpower not to have 'one little taste'.

“Come on, hyung, let's get going,” Siwon smiled. “The faster we get back down the sooner we get to eat it.”

Nodding at each other, they quickly and silently made their way out and then down to the other floor once again. Once there, Leeteuk knocked on the door and then stood back. There was music blasting, so loudly they could hear it from outside, and understandably no one came to answer the door. There were probably no way they could hear it.

“Don't you have your keys, hyung?”

“Nope, do you?” The smaller of the two watched as the other dug into the pockets of his black sweater and came up empty. Leeteuk sighed. “Guess we'll have to wait and see when they realize we're not back yet, seeing as I'm pretty sure we both forget our phones, too.”

“Shouldn't be too long,” Siwon comforted positively. “They're bound to notice we're not back with the cake.”

He laughed, agreeing, before walking back to sit down on the floor, resting his back against the hard wall. He was joined shortly after and they stay in silence for a while until the blonde shivered slightly.

“Are you cold?” He shrugged off his sweater and draped it on Leeteuk, covering the front of his upper body. Then he took the cake and held it. The oldest member of Super Junior smiled gratefully, and then they set about waiting for their friends to find them.



An hour later, and the door slammed open to reveal a drunk and pissed off Heechul. “What the fuck are they doing together that--” He had begun, and then halted mid-sentence when his eyes fell on the two figures on the floor. Then he burst out into a loud – and slightly painful to one's ears – laugh.

Siwon and Leeteuk were still sitting on the floor, but the leader had slumped to the side, head resting on a broad shoulder belonging to the other, whose head was hanging forward while his arm was around his friend's shoulders. They were both quiet, still.

They were both asleep.

Eunhyuk popped his head out of the door curiously. “What happened, hyung? Did you--” And then he spotted the two and broke into one of his gummy smiles. “Oops. I guess we didn't hear when they came back.”

Then Sungmin's head appeared, and after taking one look at the situation, he shuffled out, slipping between Heechul and Eunhyuk. He knelt down and didn't say anything for a moment, until his mind settled on his exact feelings about this.

“Aww~” He paused and a pout formed on his lips before he continued speaking, reaching out with his hands. “The cake's all melty...”

Heechul snorted, Eunhyuk chuckled while he went over to wake the sleeping duo up, and Sungmin carried the poor, uneaten cake inside to the others.

Trust him to worry about the important things.

Title: Oh My Sweet Love
Pairing: Mika/Karam (Hyunchul/Suhoon) + ninja pairings are ninja? XD
Rating: G
Genre: romance, fluff, friendship
Summary: Three instances in which Karam realizes he's fallen in love with Mika.
A/N: based partially after the song WOWOWOW by SHINee <3 used some of the lyrics and such~ this was fun to write, just something fluffy to lighten up my mood ^^ hope you all enjoy! Comments are <333



Today is the day, finally.

After being accepted by Xing Entertainment, Hyunchul hadn't believed that he'd really get the chance to be in another company, even though he was well aware of the fact that Xing was a rotational group. Yet here he was, standing on the side of the road, waiting for the bus to come to take him to his new company who had taken him, along with four others apparently, to form a new boy band.

He's nervous, excited, too. And most of all he's curious. The reason for the last wasn't entirely because of the unfamiliar place he was going to, it was also because he had no idea who else had been chosen. Were they people he knew? Members of the same time period as him?

The most important question was; is he going to be in the group as well?

Hyunchul fidgeted, his heart unable to calm down not that he let that thought take over his mind. For some reason it's making him believe something good will happen that day, making him believe that he'll see that person again.

There's a murmuring in his ears, but he ignores it, trying to let the music blasting out of his earphones settle his nerves. However, the sound that isn't music, isn't the traffic around him, continues until suddenly something taps against his shoulder and he nearly jumps out of his skin. He yanks out his earphones, turning to get a look at whoever had tried to scare him half to death and promptly nearly swallowed his own tongue in surprise.

“I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you. I was just wondering how I could get to ______ from here, by bus?”

That voice, it sounds like his voice, so rich and smooth. Hyunchul's eyes trail upwards, taking in the fashionable clothing, coloured in dark shades, going up until it reaches the boy's face, pale and sharp. Then their eyes meet and the familiar fluttery feeling in his stomach he used to get when he stared into them before is back. They are blue today, and widen as recognition hits him, too.

“Hyunchul ah!”

'My God, it's you...'

“Suhoon hyung...”


- -


Dae Guk Nam Ah.

His new group.

Karam.

His new stage name.

But to his delight, the other members were people he knew well. Jihwan, Hyunmin, Injoon, and Suhoon, all males who had been in the same Xing group as him. They were all friends, all got along extremely well, and enjoyed each others presence. And that was why they were picked, not just because of their talents, but because if a group didn't get along, they wouldn't make it for very long.

They practiced and trained hard to have a great debut, exhausting themselves though they didn't care if it would make the end product – have an impact in the world of K-POP, create music people would like – worthwhile.

To all boring days Karam said goodbye, saying hello to the exciting, if mentally and physically straining, days of being D-NA. He, along with Injoon and Jihwan (who was known as Jay now) became best friends. His relationship with Hyunmin was different; with the younger taking a more responsible role in the group than the elder. They were still good friends of course.

And then there was Suhoon. Mika, now. He became the leader of their group, for obvious reasons. He was the man Karam most looked up to, and he admired him greatly. Whenever he was around he would unintentionally tug on his hair, try to act cool, and then non-nonchalant, like the feelings he had gotten used to getting – for they appeared whenever said male was in the vicinity, or when he thought of him – didn't exist. And when Mika would smile at him, compliment him, he'd try not to let is show how happy it made him, try to make the huge grin lessen a bit from his own face.

It wasn't too long after their debut that he realized he was falling for him.


- -


“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Karam and Mika! Happy birthday to you!”

Hyunchul beamed at the gathering of fans, happiness evident in his features. They were outside, having a minor fan meet in order to celebrate two of D-NA's members' birthdays. They accepted the gifts, shared a few precious moments with their fans, and then had to be on their way.

They were granted some free time to roam as they headed back to their home while their manager was busy re-arranging some of their schedules. They walked with their arms linked, though it made them receive odd looks from people around them. So much for blending in. But it didn't matter, not when they were having fun together.

A light breeze blows around and the sun is shining brightly. It's a beautiful day.

Their chain breaks for a moment, Jihwan running over to gaze into the window of a clothing store with Injoon in tow, Hyunmin following behind with a chuckle. Hyunchul laughs and Suhoon slings his arm across his shoulders, making warmth spread through him. Their gazes lock and a smile lights up the elder of the two's face. He leans forward, pressing their heads together affectionately.

“Happy birthday.”

They're clearly connected, meant to have met in this lifetime. Same birthday, same blood type, both envious, admiring, of the other for only slightly different reasons. Karam can't be the only one who feels that way, who believes that.

So he's yet to come out and confess, and Suhoon hasn't shown any clear signs that he feels that way either. But who said patience doesn't come with a reward?

Hyunchul smiles, knocking their heads against each other gently as he murmurs, “Happy birthday.”

Title: Regrets
Pairing: Leeteuk/Kangin
Rating: G
Genre: romance, angst
Summary: Laying awake in a bed that doesn't feel like his, sleeping alone with someone missing from his side. It's not the same, not right, but it doesn't seem so bad when Kangin thinks about that fact that soon he'll see all of their smiles again...
A/N: [2/100] 2nd one ;D it's a little sad but happy at the end? it's somewhat short :/ LOL anyway~ hope you enjoy!! comments are really appreciated <33



This isn't right...

Kangin realizes this as he's lying awake in the middle of the night. He knows it's true because there are multiple people in the many bunks around him, some sleeping soundly while others snore loudly. Their unfamiliar to him, people he doesn't know and has yet to understand.

There's no murmurs of people awake like he is outside of the room, not glow of light underneath the door to signify such. He doesn't have to worry about when to wake up – because the alarm will ring – and he doesn't have to remember the lines he'd thought of earlier for his next radio show or other program. There will be no warm breakfast made by an eternal maknae waiting for him, no rush to get out the door and to the car to get to the hair salon before they go to their real destination.

The bed he's sleeping in feels strange underneath him, the covers lacking his own familiar scent. It seems cold, though it isn't, maybe what it really feels like is... empty?

There's no waiting up for him at early morning hours so he can soothe his aches and emotional pains. There's no thin, warm body that crawls under the covers to lie curled into his side, no smell of that weird shampoo he always insists on using. There's no insecure soft whispers of loving nothings that would come from soft, pink lips, to which he'd reply to in a hazy daze but with a smile on his face nonetheless. No silky hair to run his hands through to help himself fall asleep, no one to sing a lullaby to to help them fall asleep.

It isn't right.

If he'd known, he wouldn't have left the dorms that night. If he'd known, he wouldn't have gotten into that stupid fight and then drove when he knew he wasn't supposed to.

If he'd known he'd have to leave him, his sun, his angel, he'd never have done any of those things.

Because it just isn't right, but no matter how much his heart longs for that man and grieves his mistakes that led to his earlier than planned enlistment into the army, it won't change the fact that he'll have to wait and deal with this for two years.

'Leeteuk... You'll wait for me, won't you?'

He may regret a lot of things, but he's never once felt that way about they had – what they still have – and has never thought twice over giving his heart completely to him.

It isn't right, but for now he'll have to settle for wrong.

He can make it. For them, his friends, fans, family. For him, his love. For himself.

It's only a short journey.

Title: Wistful Hearts 11/?
Groups: SHINee, U-Kiss, 2PM, SNSD, BEAST, Secret, Super Junior (random characters show up often in this fic ;D)
Pairings: (main) Jonghyun/Taemin, Onew/Key, Nichkhun/Minho (other) onesided!Minho/Key, onesided!Jessica/Jonghyun, implied!Dongho/Soohyun, mention of Jonghyun/Key 
Rating: PG-15 (this chapter)
Summary: Jonghyun's the school bad boy who cuts class, gets into fights, and doesn't think he's capable of loving. But deep down he's different. Onew's his best friend from childhood and the school president, who's just trying to get the most popular boy in school to notice him. Key's known by everyone, and though he's practically worshiped and acts so self-confident, he's got dark things hidden inside. Minho, the soccer team's ace player is looking for something interesting to happen in his life and wants someone he can love to come along, even when there's someone right beside him. And Taemin's a freshman whose dedication is torn between what he wants and what his parents want, his dreams feeling out of reach because he's just “too young to know any better”. When these five are brought together, the occurrences afterward are filled with heartbreak and sorrow, but also with happiness, fun, and love.
A/N: uh, kind of important A/N (concerning all of my writing at Replay) at the end of the chapter XD please read it if you read my fics ^^ it's been a while since I posted/wrote something SHINee o_o seems so weird, haha~ hope you all enjoy! comments are <3



White. Everything glimmered and there was a light flashing, blinding him. The first question that popped into his head without meaning to was 'Am I dead..?' But that was when his other senses returned to him; he felt the softness of a bed beneath him, could hear the quiet sounds of someone breathing, and when he shifted slightly, he was greeted by the sight of a handsome male.

Jonghyun was slumped over in a chair beside his bed, arms folded beneath his head, resting on the mattress beside Taemin's body. He was sleeping, and his brown-blonde locks were illuminated by the sunlight that filtered through the blinds of a window. He glanced around, taking in his surroundings – he was in the medical room of the school – before he looked back at the teenager, sitting up to see him better.

'He saved me...' Adoration shone in his eyes. 'If it wasn't for him I'd really be...'

“Mhmph...”

His head raised and he rubbed at his face before looking sideways. “Oh!” He exclaimed in surprised, apparently not expecting Taemin to be awake. And then a warm smile gifted his lips. “Hey...”

“H-Hi...” He was temporarily unable to say anything more than that, and really could anyone blame him? What was one supposed to say to someone who he had such a weird relationship with, who he was developing feelings for – he'd grown tired of denying it, especially since according to Dongho it was quite obvious – and who had just saved him from death? He wish he knew.

“How... How are you feeling?”

Apparently he wasn't the only one feeling awkward; Jonghyun's fingers played idly with the blanket beneath his hands and he only was only minutely making eye contact. It was the first time he'd seen him look so completely different from how he had been the first time they met. It made an odd, happy emotion bloom in his chest, of which he had no name for. “I feel fine...” He said it more to ease the other, because in truth his throat felt raw and every time he took in a breath it just felt different. But he was fine, thanks to him.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Taemin decided he should voice his overwhelming gratitude, though words would surely not even begin to express it. “I... uhm... I'm really... Thank you so much for--”

“Hey, it's nothing,” He dismissed it with a shake of the head, though the pink tinge that adorned his cheeks broke through his uncaring facade. “I mean, anyone would've... and I couldn't just...”

“No--” On impulse he reached out and grasped one of the fidgeting hands that lay close to his knee. It was warm, and it felt nice to hold it. “I... I'm really grateful, Jonghyun hyung.”

Their gazes locked and though no more words were exchanged, there was no need. They were just in their own little bubble...


- -


Meanwhile out in the hallway, Key had his hands full restraining Dongho.

They'd been on their way to the medical room, having just heard that Taemin had woken up. Relieved, they had rushed over, running passed confused friends like Zinger and Thunder without stopping, before simultaneously slamming on the brakes when they spotted a certain person hallway down the hall.

It was Jessica.

Which was why Kibum had had to grab the smaller boy around the waist to keep him from running straight towards her, the furious, murderous expression on his face making it clear what his intentions were. They'd heard all of what had happened from Jonghyun earlier (though he only knew half the story) and knew that the girl was involved and most likely directly responsible for Taemin's near-drowning.

But though Dongho fought hard to get out of his restraints, the elder of the two counted himself as a social genius, a pro at situations such as these – even if he hadn't ever had to deal with a girl he'd somewhat called a friend almost killing someone who was practically like a son to him. So he calmed the other down, patting his shoulder as he said, “You have to handle this maturely, dear Dongho!”

Turning on his heel he called out, “Sica!” a blinding smile on his face. He sashayed his way over to her in all his skinny jeans, flamboyant pink and white glittery high-collared, long-sleeved shirt wearing glory, making sure everyone in the busy hallway was watching, and when she faced him he promptly bitch slapped her hard across the face.

The bright smile he'd had before vanished and in it's place was a sneer and dark look so deadly that Jessica flinched, wide-eyes as she held her red cheek. “Touch him again, and I'll make you wish you'd drowned in that pool.” He spat the threat out venomously, afterwards spinning and heading back to a grinning Dongho.

“Nice one. I still want a piece of her though...”

“Too bad, since here comes the faculty to break this up,” They looked over to see Shin Soohyun seonsaengnim along with Kim Heechul seonsaengnim making their way through the crowd. “Guess I'm in trouble.”

“Mm, maybe not,” Turning on the persuasive aegyo cute charm he had become known for in his short time at SM, the white-haired boy skipped over, distracting Shin seonsaengnim long enough for Key to escape, knowing very well that Kim seonsaengnim didn't mind drama one bit, seeing as he was his drama teacher. Receiving a secret smirk from the fellow feminine male as he passed by, Kibum was thankful that he was the favoured student in that particular class.


- -


They'd been just watching each other, and just as they began leaning closer – only slightly, as if they were going to have a very meaningful, hushed conversation – the door to the medical room burst open and in came their very dramatic diva friend, ruining the mood even though he shouted, “Oh shit, sorry lovebirds!” Because however much the words hinted at him leaving them alone, he did no such thing, and in any case Jonghyun and Taemin had jumped away from each other so sharply it was like an elastic band snapping.

“How you feeling, sweetie?” He carefully sat himself on the edge of the bed, entwining their hands together. Taemin smiled, happy to see his friend and replied that he was fine. They continued talking, until Kibum figured he was leaving out the other male in the room, and, and in the mood for one, he decided to play a little game.

“So, has he written a love song for you yet? If he has then in no time you guys will be getting awfully hot and passionate, doing dirty thing like--”

“Fuck, Key, we're gonna need a freaking censor for that mouth.”

“Too late and you know it; this mouth is already too dirty for censors.”

“Ah--” Taemin interrupted their little banter, flustered. “We-We're not like that.” He felt the strong urge to make sure that was clear, though he wished it was a lie. But there was no way someone like Jonghyun would like someone like him.

Just then, another person joined in on the conversation. “Right, you'd rather be with AJ, Mr Cares-too-fucking-much-about-his-dancing-shoes. Guy's got no life except for his dancing, at least, that's what Zinger says. Though I bet she's just mad 'cause he rejected her.”

“Dongho!” A huge smile appeared on his face and he reached out to trap his best friend in a tight hug, laughing when the white-haired boy made a face like he was going to resist, but in the end only laughed and embraced him as well.

“Everyone's out in the hall waiting to see you. Right now their trying to figure out how to distract or convince nurse Ga In to let them all in, though the max is three people.”

“Well, let's go meet your fans~” Key grinned and pulled Taemin up onto his feet as they all headed out together.


- -


He walked out onto the grounds of the school, squinting in the early morning sunlight. It was just before classes were to begin, which wasn't the usual time that Minho went out for his runs. But he'd been in the medical room visiting his cousin, and so time had flew without him realizing it. In relief he spotted Nichkhun making his way around the track, having probably been there at the regular time, and as he came closer to where he was standing, Minho began running.

They matched strides in no time, thanks to the many times they'd done this together, and the more tired of the two tossed the other a sideways glance.

“You're late,” He said through short, measure breaths, a frown on his slightly parted lips. “Where were you?”

“Sorry,” The guilt was immediate. They'd already not spent as much time together in the past few days, and now he probably thought he was avoiding him or something. Which wasn't true. At least, for the most part. Truth was, he'd been thinking a lot about his love life, and how no matter how many people he met, they'd never really catch his attention romantically. And for some reason he couldn't put his finger on, he hadn't wanted to be around Nichkhun – or, well, anyone for that matter – while he was in such a confused state heart-wise. “Taemin was in the medical room so I went to see him.”

His eyes widened and they slowed down their pace to a walk. “Oh man, what happened? Is he okay?” Immediately going from suspicious to concerned was a welcome – and cuter – change, and made Minho smile.

“Yeah, he's okay. He said he just accidentally fell in the pool,” He shrugged. “I don't really believe it, seeing as how he'd got a phobia for water, and Jonghyun hyung was whispering with Key hyung about it beforehand... But what matters is that he's not hurt, which is good.”

“Taem's gotten himself some... weird friends, heh.”

“Yeah,” Minho grinned at Nichkhun. “Though I've got the weirdest of all.”

A light punch to the shoulder and then he chuckled. “Hey, I take everything you say to heart you know.”


- -


With first period over and done with, Jonghyun walked out of the class a few minutes before the bell rang, ignoring the call from his teacher. He wandered the hallways until it did ring, and then stayed out longer then he should have. Just as he was about to make his way to his next class, however, his ears picked up on two very familiar voices.

“Hey, hon, how are you feeling? You could've stayed in bed like the nurse said, you don't have to go to class if you're not feeling well.”

“No, I'm okay. It's fine...”

“Then is there something bugging you?”

Jonghyun crept along the wall and took a peek around the corner, spotting Kibum and Taemin lounging against another wall, leaned close together. He blinked and hid again, curiousity peaking, especially at the next words spoken by the freshman.

“Uhm, well... There's something that I, uh... That I wanted to talk to about with someone, or, I mean, get off my chest?”

“Oh, sure! You can tell me anything; my lips are sealed. I'll be the key to your secret that never opens!” He giggled and Jonghyun rose an eyebrow, wondering what – or who – happened to make him so out of the blue bubbly. And less revealing now that he thought about it; Key was barely showing any skin that day.

“Well, I... I kind of... like someone...”

“Ooo~” Kibum squealed and the eavesdropper unintentionally straightened, concentrating on hearing everything that was being said. Who could it be? Was it anyone he knew?

“It's... It's, uhm...”

Could it be that boy AJ or whatever? Or Jinki? What is it was his best friend, Dongho? Or maybe one of those cute girls who always surrounded him nowadays – calling him pretty, admiringly – trying to get him to have lunch with them?

“You can tell me, come on, don't be shy.”

Who could it be? Surely it wasn't Kibum? Maybe it was--

“It's Jonghyun hyung...”

His train of thought ended abruptly and his heart thudded in his chest. 'W-What..?'

Now way had he heard right, he must have water still in his ears or something. There was no possibility that Taemin had just said he was the one he liked. But it was true, he'd heard it. It was true. For a brief moment his heart soared, happiness shooting through his body, making a smile flash on his face. However it was short-lived when realization really hit him.

There was no way he liked him back.

It was impossible, he'd never felt that way for anyone. Jonghyun had had the occasional dates and one night stands – well, with Key it had happened a lot more times than that – but never once had he had feelings for the other. Not in that way.

But if that was the case, why was his heart telling him otherwise? That Taemin was different?

It was hard for him to accept because it had been a while since he had actually been able to admit that he loved someone, and that had only been platonic love with his best friend, Jinki. He wasn't going to admit it again, not when this felt like so much more.

“No offense, baby, I'm happy you can confide in me, but I'm not the one you should be confessing to.”

“I know, and that's why... I-I'm going to tell him, today. After classes are done.”

Jonghyun's eyes widened and his hands clenched nervously. What was he going to do? They couldn't be together, it just wouldn't work. He kept repeating that as he jogged to his classroom, and then for once he did his homework in class, just trying to get his mind off of what he'd overheard, and what he so recently realized about himself.

He was falling for that kid, but he shouldn't, wasn't supposed to.

He kept repeating it in his mind until he got his heart to believe it.



A/N: okay so here it goes ~
as you might have noticed (or not, doesn't matter LOL) I haven't been posting in the Replay comm for a while now ^^;; only updates of WH and Angels every now and then. I really apologize about that to anyone who likes reading what I write, but truth is, I haven't been feeling the SHINee muse lately T___________T
Instead I've been sucked into the SUJU one thanks to the Miracle comm, as well as minorly the D-NA one down at Mallangmute. mostly Super Junior is the cause for no more SHINee in my fanfics mind, but I'm sure that won't last forever.
though it doesnt help that it seems like my bias (HyunMin) died DX -sniffles-
I'll probably just be slow in updating and in posting and sadly in commenting on the fics of others, which makes me sad but its the truth.
so yeah, just thought I'd let anyone who cares know XD 
thank you for reading <3